The Kimberly Joy Blog

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Category: Love

Empowered To Speak

(THE KIMBERLY JOY SHOW: Taming the Tongue)

HOW ARE WE EMPOWERED TO SPEAK?
When God created man, He created him in His own image and likeness (Genesis 1:26). Consequently, as humans we are empowered to speak with authority. In fact, when we look at the first man Adam, his first recorded assignment in the Bible was to name each animal God had created. That was a big, important assignment when you think about it! God entrusted Adam to give each animal its own unique name.

Like Adam, as children of God, we are entrusted to use our words to make a positive impact. Consider the apostle Paul. In Philippians 3:1, he explains that he never gets tired of telling the people about Jesus and encouraging them to remain faithful. Just like Paul, we are to use our voices to tell others about Jesus. We are also to use our words to pray and encourage someone.

Unfortunately, some believers in Christ or Christians choose to use their words in a negative way. I’ve attended church all my life, so I’ve witnessed church members say some really cruel things about others, including other believers.

I’ve even been guilty of it myself. If we were to be honest, we’ve used our words to judge, criticize, ridicule, belittle, backbite, and gossip. Basically, we’ve used our words to tear down and hate on other people.

WHY DO SOME OF US SPEAK WITH HATE?
Why do some of us speak with hate when we are supposed to show the love of God? It’s a learned behavior. We model what we see and hear, especially as children because, more than likely, we don’t know any better. Then after we grow up, mature and gain more knowledge and understanding, we still use our words negatively because it feels good to the flesh (the sinful nature). Thus, we speak what’s in our hearts. Luke 6:45 (New International Version) says:

“A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”

Some are simply comfortable criticizing and judging other people. For instance, if I can harp on someone else’s faults (or what I THINK are someone else’s faults) then I can ignore my own faults and pretend I don’t have any. If I magnify someone else’s so-called issues, then I can convince myself that my issues aren’t as bad as theirs. Moreover, some of us have a tendency to make excuses for our behavior. Here’s an example:

“Oh no! This isn’t gossiping! We need to discuss this so we know what to pray about.”

Another example:

“Hey Sis! How’re you doing? Have you heard the news about Sis. Watermelon? Well, I’m not trying to talk about her or anything like that! I’m just calling to let you know what I heard so….you know….so you can pray.”

And then another one:

“Look, I’m just keeping it real! I’m not biting my tongue because the devil needs to be exposed!!!”

Do any of the above examples sound remotely familiar? The problem with these statements is the motive behind them. There’s no LOVE! Now, I’m not suggesting that if an individual is guilty of using his or her words in a negative way, that he or she doesn’t possess love for other people. I’m not suggesting that at all! What I am suggesting is that every believer must learn how to tame his or her tongue. As humans, it’s easy to lean towards what’s negative or evil. Why? Although we’ve given our lives to Jesus, we are still in this flesh and there’s nothing holy or righteous about the flesh. Therefore, we need to adhere to Galatians 5:16-17 (NIV), which say:

“16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit [desires] what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.”

In order to not yield to the flesh, we must be guided by the Holy Spirit. In order to be guided by the Holy Spirit or the Spirit of God, we must spend time with God praying to Him, praising and worshiping Him, and studying and obeying His Word.

HOW CAN YOU TAME YOUR TONGUE?
If you find yourself talking negatively about someone, do a self-evaluation and check your heart. You may even ask yourself, “Why am I saying these things? What’s really going with me?” And be honest with yourself! Then change your thinking. Change your words. Turn that negative statement into a positive one. In some instances, it may be better to not say anything at all and just pray about that person or situation.

Although the tongue is capable of causing great harm, as children of God, we are responsible for taming it. We must be mindful of the words we speak on a daily basis. God expects us to be witnesses for Jesus Christ, not just when we share the Gospel, but by being examples of love and righteousness. Remember, people watch what we do and they listen to what we say. God is holding you and me accountable!

THE PRAYER OF SALVATION
If you haven’t accepted Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior, you can do so right now. I then encourage you to find a good Bible-believing church that will help you grow in your relationship with the Lord.

Romans 10:9 (NIV) says, “If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.”

Please pray the following prayer:

Dear Jesus, I come to You confessing I am a sinner in need of a Savior. I believe You shed Your blood on the cross and died for my sins, were buried and rose again so I could be free! Please forgive me for my sins and the life I have lived. I confess You Jesus as Lord and accept You as my own personal Savior. According to the Word of God, I am now saved! Hallelujah! I AM FREE!

WELCOME TO THE FAMILY OF GOD!!!!!

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Smile! Someone Needs It!


Smile! Someone needs it! Let me tell you why!

Several years ago as I was leaving the mall, I noticed a young woman about my age walking towards me. She wasn’t looking in my direction, but I decided to smile and say hello anyway. Looking surprised, she replied, “Hi!” Just when I thought that was the end of it, she added with a smile, “Wow! That’s nice that some people actually still say hello.” In that moment, I felt good about my decision to greet this complete stranger. The look on her face and the sound of her voice were subtle indicators that she needed just that—-a smile! And to think, I almost looked the other way! However, I asked myself, “Why look the other way as if she’s not there? She’s human just like you! It’s good to be kind, even to a total stranger.” Even though I didn’t know what kind of day she was having, honestly, she didn’t look very happy. Nevertheless, once she saw my smile, her entire demeanor changed in an instance! Legendary jazz singer and musician Louis Armstrong was onto something when he sang, “When you’re smilin’, keep on smilin’! The whole world smiles with you!”

Although that particular event occurred over ten years ago, the young woman’s words stayed with me. She was right! Some people don’t smile or say hello to those they encounter, unless they “have to”. I, too, have been guilty. I don’t always display my “mall parking lot behavior”. However, I should! Proverbs 15:30a says, “A cheerful look brings joy to the heart.” What if my smile brightens up a person’s day? What if my smile assures them that there are still good people in the world? What if my smile makes them feel important? What if my smile gives them a reason to keep living? More importantly, what if my smile helps draw them to Jesus? Smiling is an act of love and kindness. In Jeremiah 31:3 God says, “…with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.” Our Lord uses those who are willing to bring more people to Himself.

I thank God for reminding me to smile because one person who definitely needs my smile is ME!!! When I notice that I’m beginning to feel sad or get upset, instead of surrendering to those negative emotions, I smile! Smiling suddenly makes me feel better. I then realize that whatever is going on at that moment is not as bad as it appears to be, or bad at all! Health and fitness writer Jennipher Walters says “the simple act of smiling sends a message to your brain that you’re happy. And when you’re happy, your body pumps out all kinds of feel-good endorphins.” For example, smiling can help reduce stress which, in turn, can “lower blood pressure, improve digestion and regulate blood sugar.”

When I choose to smile I’m showing God that I still trust and appreciate Him! No matter what, GOD is ALWAYS worthy of my PRAISE! So, I will KEEP SMILING because someone—–including ME—–needs it!

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Pictured with my niece and nephews (Nigel, Mikayla, and Tre)

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I Love YOU!


I love you! Yes….YOU! I don’t have to know you personally to love you, for God has placed a love inside my heart for His children. And you are His child! Whether you acknowledge Him or not, whether you serve Him or not, you are His. After all, He created you in His image and likeness. Genesis 1:26-27 says, “And God said, Let Us make man in Our image, after Our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in His own image, in the image of God created He him; male and female created He them.”

With everything that is going on in today’s world, I must remind myself daily to LOVE. “And you must love the Lord your God with all with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these,” (Mark 12:30-31). I admit that it’s not always easy loving those who may abuse and hate you, but God commands it. The old adage says, “Love conquers all!” Not hate! Why would the originator of this quote make such a bold statement that LOVE conquers? It’s very simple. GOD is LOVE! I John 4:7-8 declares, “Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.”

Personally speaking, I can’t see where possessing hatred ever made a person’s life better. In fact, holding a grudge against another individual only made me miserable. The mere mention of his or her name caused me to cringe. Now, as a child of God, that should not be. I am to be an example of love, not hate. John 13:34-35 states, “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are My disciples.”

How can I witness to people about Jesus, while picking and choosing whom I’m going to love? I must love everyone. I’m not at all suggesting that to love everyone means to endure abuse! For instance, if a woman is being physically or even verbally abused by her husband, then, by all means, she should remove herself from that toxic situation. Again, the scripture says that we’re to love our neighbors as ourselves, which indicates that we MUST love ourselves also. So a woman, who chooses to love herself by creating distance from her abusive husband, can still love him from afar by praying for him and hoping the best for his life.

This current Presidential election and the increase of unarmed black boys and men being fatally shot by law enforcement have made it apparent that racism is still very much alive in this country. Unfortunately, hate begets hate! So if I’m not careful, as a black woman who loves and honors the black men in her life, I will find myself hating those who hate me simply because of skin color. Nevertheless, my relationship with God has taught me to love, in spite of the negativity thrown my way. Let me give an example. Several years ago I was emotionally hurt by a friend, and it left me very angry. Although I understood that as a Christian I wasn’t supposed to harbor any negative feelings, I yet found myself resenting this individual. I hated the way the negative emotions affected me and knew I needed to be set free through forgiveness. I’ll be the first to admit that forgiveness didn’t come overnight because the resentment didn’t build up in one day. So, I had to continually ask God to cleanse my heart and renew my mind. In addition, every night before going to sleep I read I Corinthians 13 aloud to myself, focusing on verses 4-7, and made it personal by replacing the word “love” with “I”.

“[I am] patient. [I am] kind. [I do] not envy. [I do] not boast. [I am] not proud. [I do] not dishonor others. [I am] not self-seeking. [I am] not easily angered. [I keep] no record of wrongs. [I do] not delight in evil, but [I rejoice] with the truth. [I] always protect, always trust, always hope, always persevere.”

Speaking and hearing God’s Word uprooted the unforgiveness that had taken residence in my heart. However, I would not have been set free if I hadn’t accepted God’s truth over my own.

Each day I leave my home and encounter various people throughout the day, I am well aware that some may despise me because I don’t look like they do. Nevertheless, I choose not to entertain such thoughts! It doesn’t matter if they hate me or not because I am STILL commanded to love. In fact, I am now built to love through God’s love. So regardless of who you are, I declare today that I LOVE YOU!
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